cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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