hotel room ftw
just come out here and I will go home with you...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
