Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
