you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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