I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
