I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
