i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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