I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
