Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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