we have pet lesbian snakes
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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