Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
