all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
