Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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