your thong is hanging out like whoa
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
