We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
