All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize