Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
