what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
