woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
