I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
