her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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