the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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