Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
