three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
