47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
