I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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