haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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