You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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