mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
