is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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