if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
