so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
