smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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