yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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