I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize