It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
