Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
