We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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