I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
