kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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