Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
