Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
