theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
