And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
