please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
