Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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