Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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