I just pynch a tree in the face
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
