you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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