Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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