Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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