your thong is hanging out like whoa
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
