i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
