If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
