I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
