But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
