im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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