Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize