Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
