She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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