I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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