every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
