I smell stomach acid.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
3 2 1 whiskey
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
