I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
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Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
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He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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