if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize